Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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