So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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