I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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