A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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