I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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