somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
either way he was missing a nipple.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
