She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
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