I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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