thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
