we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.