went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
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She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
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She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
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