am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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