Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
