I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
