Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
