i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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