Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
