The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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