Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Everyone says I win the strip club
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
