Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
