who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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