Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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