Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
