atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I've blown a few things in my day
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
