I puked a lego.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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