Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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