Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
