Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
