So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
