grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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