Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
