He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
