I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Randomize
