In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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