Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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