look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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