I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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