I must be too annoying 4 u.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
