Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
