I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize