When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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