Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
