Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You dont lie about slip and slides
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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