well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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