I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
