just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I had to cum in my sink.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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