The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
