You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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