So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
