i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Randomize
