Your face is a jimmy john
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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