she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Randomize
