Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
