I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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