if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
