Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
