Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I wish there were birth control emojis
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
