so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
