I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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