It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
